Christinas-Inspirational Writings

You Are

2007-03-22T20:13:00.001-07:00

~~~~ You Are ~~~~

You are strong
when you take your grief and teach it to smile.

You are brave
when you overcome your fear and help others to do
the same.

You are happy
when you see a flower and give it your blessing.

You are loving
when your own pain does not blind you to the pain
of others.

You are wise
when you know the limits of your wisdom.

You are true
when you admit there are times you fool yourself.

You are alive
when tomorrow's hope means more to you than
yesterday's mistake.

You are growing
when you know what you are but not what you will
become.

You are free
when you are in control of yourself and do not
wish to control others.

You are honorable
when you find your honor is to honor others.

You are generous
when you can take as sweetly as you can give.

You are humble
when you do not know how humble you are.

You are thoughtful
when you see me just as I am and treat me just
as you are.

You are merciful
when you forgive in others the faults you
condemn in yourself.

You are beautiful
when you don't need a mirror to tell you.

You are rich
when you never need more than what you have.

You are you
when you are at peace with who you are not.

Author Unknown

Accepting Things I Cannot Change

2006-05-31T12:43:00.000-07:00

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She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer And cries, “It shall be done—sometime, somewhere.” OPHELIA GUYON BROWNING
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change—other people’s decisions, my circumstances, how others see me, my memories, reliving the abuse, that I don’t know the difference between what I can and cannot change sometimes.

The courage to change the things I can—how I see the world, decisions that I make, not staying frozen in the same environment when I am doing badly, how much I allow my Higher Power in my life, what I eat, how I treat others, whether I ask for help when I need it.

And the wisdom to know the difference—Am I turning this over? Can I step back and look at the opportunity to grow that is in front of me? Am I praying for peace, acceptance, and faith?

As my questions point ever more clearly to my own truth, they grow simpler.

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I’ll let prayer guide and change me today.
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Our inner children need to be set free from their prison

2006-02-18T05:53:00.000-08:00

There shouldn’t be a single little child in America left alone to fend for himself. MARY KEYSERLING
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Our inner children need to be set free from their prison. They have had to live by rules set up to keep them in bondage. We have to set them free. We have to give them power to say when they don’t feel safe, power to choose when to be sexual, power to go somewhere and to do something. We have to let them speak, or speak up for them when they are silent and need protection. We have to show them we will protect them from harm.

It may take months or even years for them to feel safe. Maybe they won’t want to have sex, or go out to dinner, or do whatever scares them, for a long time. We have to abide by these wishes, even if we hate them. They need to experience a world where they are listened to. We must learn to compromise with them instead of compromising them. It is our responsibility to take care of their needs so they can learn that they are safe now.

They will heal as we give them space, time, and support. They need to know they can say no before they’ll ever be able to willingly make the choice to say yes.

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Today I will stand up for my inner child no matter what.
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My body is my friend

2006-02-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

Even as small children we are trained not to listen to our bodies or trust our sensations. GAY GAER LUCE
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There are many physical symptoms that can accompany the memory process. Vision problems, aches and pains, headaches, gagging, numbness, genital pain, digestive problems, muscle spasms, repeated accidental injuries, stomach cramps, allergies, ringing in the ears, dizziness, urinary infections and more.

We have years if pain stored in our bodies, and it comes out as we are ready. It hurts, it can be scary and confusing. But the symptoms do clear up. Sometimes, as soon as we get the related memory, the symptom goes away. Other times we need to thoroughly process the emotions for the pain to go away. This is especially true for chronic problems.

Our bodies tell us so much. We can learn to listen and follow the clues. Weak areas can hold a key as to what is going on inside us. We are a total being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Yet as children, we shut off our connection to our bodies as we began to believe that it was our enemy.

It was never the enemy. Abuse was the enemy; our bodies were the victims. We will discover that we can feel loving and tender toward our bodies, and they will become stronger. Gradually we will feel safe being alive in the physical world.

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My body is my friend and I can learn to understand the ways it talks to me.
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I am the person who will stand up for me.

2006-01-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in. GRAHAM GREENE
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“One day I realized that although the incest with my brother was over, no one had ever stopped it. And I knew there was a child inside still waiting for someone to stand up for her and save her from her abuser, to say that it was wrong. She felt that unless it was stopped it would never really be over. No wonder I still want someone to rescue me!”

Part of us is still waiting to be saved. We want that adult parental figure to do what is right, to stop the abuse and set things straight. We want to know that someone outside will protect us because we are still that little child who thinks we can’t do it for ourselves.

We deserve this. We should have had it. But it won’t happen. We need to grieve that this will never be, even though it is deserved and right. This will empower us to stand up for ourselves now.

This is our responsibility in parenting our inner child. It is our job to be the person who protects and nurtures, who stands up for what is right. And how lucky we are to get to do this, because we can do it just the way we need it.

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I am the person who will stand up for me.

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Spinning Our Wheels Is Part of Getting Unstuck

2005-08-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

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Spinning Our Wheels Is Part of Getting Unstuck
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When our car gets stuck in the mud or snow, we immediately try to get out. Sometimes we have to spin our wheels to get a rocking motion going. Sometimes we have to try harder, then try again before we can get out. Sometimes, spinning our wheels digs us in more deeply. Then in frustration, we let go, relax. Soon we find ourselves doing what we need to get unstuck. We ask for help or figure out another approach.

That's how it is on our journey. We may find ourselves in a situation we don't know how to handle. So we start spinning our wheels in frustration, confusion, or fear. What we know is we want out. Sometimes we need to get through that time of spinning our wheels in order to get to the next place, the place where we slow down and figure out what to do next. Sometimes our frustration helps generate energy to get momentum going in the general direction of solving the problem. Putting forth that energy gets steam built up, tells us and the universe we're ready to free ourselves.

If you find yourself spinning your wheels, be gentle with yourself. Slow down, get a nice rocking motion going, one that's rhythmic yet powerful enough to free you, then put the car in gear, step on the gas, and gently drive out of the muck.

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Sometimes we need to spin our wheels. It helps us get unstuck.

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Be All You Can Be

2005-08-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

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Be All You Can Be
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Step out into the cool night air. Look at the stars. See how they shine. Know that it is okay for you to shine too.

Who told you that you had to hold back? Who told you your gifts, your talents, your beauty your natural, beautiful, loving, delightful self was wrong? Who told you not to be all you could be? Maybe, as some suggest, we’ve gotten too comfortable focusing on our flaws., our errors, our dark side. Perhaps it’s not our dark side we fear. Perhaps we’re really afraid of our gifts, our brilliance, our light.

Now is a time of light. It’s time for us to shine. We’ve worked hard on ourselves, dealt with our issues, gone back to the past. We've learned our lessons well. The reasons to hold back and hide away are no longer there. Enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Be all you can be, and enjoy being that. Don’t hold back. Use your gifts with joy. Use your talents. Let your light shine for all the world to see.

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Finally, you are free to be all that you are and can be.
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When I feel as if I just can't go on

2005-08-10T12:38:00.000-07:00

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I was going to buy a copy of the Power of Positive Thinking, and the I thought: What the hell good would that do? -- RONNIE SHAKES
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Sometimes we just get sick to death of taking responsibility for ourselves. We get tires of changing ourselves and letting others be. We want to blame everyone else for the way we feel. We hate our abusers, inside and out. We even hate normal people who don't go through this. We just want things to go away.

We work so hard; we are so hard on ourselves; we try so hard to do it right all the time. Sometimes we need days of resentment, anger, blame, and self-pity. It helps to experience these feelings to their fullest before we let them go. On these days we can just go with it.

Other times we don't want to be stuck in these feelings. We are willing to move out of them, but we don't know how. This is the time to call upon our Higher Power and ask for help to let go. We know that on the other side it will feel as if a huge weight has lifted and we can move freely again. All we need is the willingness. As we accept our feelings, in our Higher Power's time, these feelings will be lifted.

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When I feel as if I just can't go on, it's the perfect time to practice surrender.
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An Old Farmer's Advice:

2005-08-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometim es you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

WHY WOMEN ARE CRABBY

2005-08-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the #%@#&$% (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their teen years. Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now.....you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

Friends

2005-08-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

A good exercise for the heart
is to bend down and help another up.

Friends are like four leaf clovers,
hard to find, lucky to have.

If all my friends jumped off a cliff,
I wouldn't jump with them.
I would be at the bottom to catch them.

What heals?

2005-08-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

What heals?

"Paradoxically, a group of humans becomes healing and converting only after its members have learned to stop trying to heal and convert. Community is a safe place precisely because no one is attempting to heal or convert you, to fix you, to change you. Instead, the members accept you as you are. You are free to be you. And being so free, you are free to discard defenses, masks, disguises; free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health; free to become your whole and holy self."

-- Scott Peck

Why do we hate ourselves so much

2005-08-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

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I don't want to be anywhere near anyone who is likely to feel anything more than disgust for me. TIM M.
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Why do we hate ourselves so much? We need to look inside to the hurt parts of ourselves and discover the answers. Some of us have turned the hate our abusers aimed at us onto ourselves because it was impossible not to. Some of us have directed the hate we feel toward our abusers onto ourselves because it was not possible to feel it toward them. Some of us feel totally and utterly worthless and horrible as humans for what we went through because of things we were forced to do or things that were done to us, because parts of us enjoyed some things, or because we cooperated because it was the only way we could get our real need for touch and attention fulfilled.

We have many other reasons for hating ourselves. We need to delve deeply to understand what feelings and beliefs we have hidden inside that motivate our inner world. Once we see what the parts inside that carry these feelings really feel like, we can work with them to heal. For whatever the reason, there are many who have the same inner experiences and there are others who are recovering from it. It really is possible to nourish our self-love and be released from this hate we have carried around for so long.

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My true love for myself is inside of me, getting stronger every day.
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Acknowledge Your Fears

2005-07-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

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Acknowledge Your Fears
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I never knew how afraid I was. Maybe I was even too afraid to look at my fears.

People speak of facing fear, of not being afraid of fear, of working through fear. How do we do that? Try this technique, recommended to me by a healing professional. Take out a sheet of paper and a pencil, and write down everything you fear. Take as much time as you need. Let it roll out. Don't be afraid of what you see. Some of your fears may be of the unknown. Write as much as you can about those, too.

We don't need to list everything we need to do about each fear. All we need to do is acknowledge, honestly, what we fear. Once we do, the way will become clear. Acknowledging our fears will give us power. Acknowledging our fears will help set us free. Often, it moves us to the next place. It is the barrier we need to pass through.

Although some of our fears may be real, may be grounded in reality, facing them won't make us more afraid. Facing our fears won't cause us more pain. Facing fear will bring us peace and power. The truth isn't the enemy. Fear of the truth is the enemy.

Be gentle with yourself. Let yourself have your fears; and let yourself face them.

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Having the wisdom to face the truth will bring us closer to peace.
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Be Vulnerable with Yourself

2005-07-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

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Be Vulnerable with Yourself
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As we go through our days, we meet many people. We learn it's safe to be vulnerable with some, not so safe or wise to be vulnerable with others. But there is one person it's always safe to be vulnerable with. Yourself.

Share your deepest secrets with yourself. Whether you rise early in the morning and write your thoughts in a journal or take a few moments throughout the day to bring your deepest secrets to consciousness, you need to be clear, straight, and honest with yourself. Harboring secrets,
ducking, dodging, and hiding from the truth will slow you down. It will block the pathway to your heart. It can even stop you cold if you get enough secrets tucked away.

Take time each day to recognize what you think, what you feel. You don't have to act. The sheer acts of recognition, honesty, and acceptance are all that are necessary to keep you moving, growing, going forward.

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Be as vulnerable as you safely can with those you meet along the way. But always be vulnerable with yourself.
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Putting Yourself First

2005-07-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

Meeting Your Own Needs

In life, we are encouraged to think of others first. It is seen as a virtue to selflessly address the needs of parents, children, friends, and loved ones, before or sometimes at the cost of our own needs. But this virtue, like any, is best and most meaningful in moderation.
Overly caring for others can easily be an unconscious cry for love or a crutch. Devoting all of your time to others can stand in the way of you caring for yourself. Taking care of yourself can feel selfish while taking care of others can seem easier than dealing with your
own issues. But addressing your own needs first in some cases is beneficial and vital not only to your own health and well-being, but to your ability to care for others when needed.

We often find ourselves faced with too many responsibilities and those most readily given up are often those most important to us. Ask yourself why. Do you feel the need to prove yourself by being selfless or hope your sacrifice will be acknowledged? Do you feel selfish for wanting things for yourself? Or is it simply more stressful to contemplate your own needs, because they are the ones requiring the most personal effort on your part? Selfless dedication
can be frustrating when we don't find the appreciation or love we desire, which ironically leads to putting more effort into others. But when you care for yourself, you affirm your own worth and boundaries. Don't be afraid to put yourself first now and then. Listen to your inner voice and be fair to yourself as well as to others. Have the courage to face your needs and issues head on without putting them off by helping someone else with theirs.

Avoiding caring for oneself is often indicative of great internal struggle. It can be helpful to recognize that you are as deserving of care as any other human and that you, too, function best when your needs are met. Try, when possible, to do something special, take a break, ask for help, and to give your own needs the attention they deserve

Delight in Yourself

2005-07-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

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Delight in Yourself
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Stop picking on yourself, worrying if you’re good enough, wondering what people will see if you let them see your heart. This is what they’ll see: that you are a loveable and delightful soul, a beautiful child of God.

Be yourself and accept yourself warts, waistline, and all. You don’t have to sit up that straight, be that proper, or fear what others may see. Let your imperfections show! Share them! Love yourself anyway! Relax, and be who you are! When you do that, your life will be fun and a joyful gift to others.

People who comfortably accept who they are both their flaws and their good points are healing, delightful, and fun to be around. Look at any work of nature: a canyon, a flower, a bird. A mountain or a forest trail. Where does the perfection begin and imperfection end? It’s the combination that makes a perfect scene. So it is with you.

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Relax. Lighten up. Let go of shame and fear.
The whole picture is perfect, and perfectly okay.
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To Dance...

2005-07-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

~To dance, put your hand on your heart
and listen to the sound of your soul~

F A M I L Y

2005-07-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY =

(F)ATHER
(A)ND
(M)OTHER
(I)
(L)OVE
(Y)OU

Missing Stories

2005-07-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

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Until the missing story of ourselves is told, nothing besides told can
suffice us: we shall go on quietly craving it. LAURA RIDING
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For many of us much of our childhood is a missing story. For all of us,full awareness of the devastation we survived is missing. Deep healing comes when we find our own missing stories.

Many of us do not remember much of our daily lives during childhood. We need to rediscover this on an emotional level, not just an intellectual one. Do we remember how we felt about ourselves after the abuse? Do we remember how it felt to wake up in the morning? Do we remember how it felt to think that something was terribly wrong with us, to feel isolated and different from friends, lonely at school? Do we remember how we felt about the perpetrator, supposedly trustworthy, yet abusing us? How we felt about the other adults who should have protected us?

There are also many missing stories about what we did to survive. Are we fully aware of how we dissociated then and now? Are we aware if we created other parts of ourselves to survive? Are we aware of the inner children that were left behind?

This inner searching can be the beginning of recovery. We now get to complete the missing story, every piece, until we are able to reclaim our wholeness once again.

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Piece by piece I am returning my whole self to me.
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The shortest way to do many things

2005-07-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

Step by step

"The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time."-- Sydney Smiles

When I get overwhelmed by the number of tasks on my to-do list, I remind myself that the only way to get anywhere is step by step. And I cover the most distance in the journey of my life when I take a moment to decide which step will bring the greatest rewards.

"Often he who does too much does too little."-- Italian Proverb
"If you chase two rabbits, both will escape."-- Source Unknown

Each of us is a one-and-only

2005-07-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique human being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. -- Nietzche

Each of us is a one-and-only. No one sees the world just as we do. No one has our laugh or smile, our exact way of walking and talking. Besides our handwriting and our fingerprints, we are unique in a hundred other ways; our thinking style, our sense of humor, our tastes have never come together in one person before, and they never will again. We are truly ourselves and noone else, matched to our place and time in history and no other.

We are related to, but not defined by, those who came before us. Their choices need not be our choices, their mistakes and limits need not be ours. They are different people matched to a different time. We are not who they are and we are not responsible for who they are. We are new people and this is a new day. Our day. No one else can live this life for us. Let us go
forward.

Today, I pray for the wisdom to see myself as the precious, unequaled human being that I am. Let me be aware that the life I've been given is mine.

Often the Test of Courage is not to Die but to Live.

2005-07-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

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Often the test of courage is not to die but to live. VITTORIO ALFIERI
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Escape from the pain inside is what we sought, and we used chemicals, relationships, work, food, or exercise to numb us, to take us as close to nonliving as we could get. After a few years or decades of this living death it became the life we knew, and we clung to that familiar twilight rut, afraid to breath or move for fear that we would still have feelings.

But until death takes us absolutely, we belong to life, no matter how close to death we may be living. And when we admitted we were still alive we had to recognize our tremendous courage. We had hung on to life, if only with one small fingernail. We kept open the possibility that we could turn and face the fears and pain we had been running from. Even though we may have considered ourselves garbage and unworthy, we had advocated for ourselves in the most important way.

The only prerequisite for hope is life. By coming to read these words we have met ourselves. And if we are willing to be truthful, we must admit we have met heroes.

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I have never really abandoned myself because I have always clung to the possibilities of life.
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Nobody can change my thoughts

2005-07-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

Nobody can change my thoughts but me.
I can't change anyone else;
all I can change is my mind.

Stop Punishing Yourself with Fear

2005-07-03T22:37:00.001-07:00

It’s time to stop punishing ourselves. Time to stop beating ourselves over the head with fear.

This is the scenario. A fear enters our mind. Our mind takes it and runs with it. “Something bad is going to happen. Something terrible and traumatic is on the way.” We quickly review the traumas of our past and make the determination: “Yes, it is very possible that this devastating event will happen.”

So we sit crouched in the present moment full of fear and dread. We worry that the worst that could happen, probably will. We begin to believe that it is most likely waiting at our doorstep, ready to pounce on us and steal our joy, our peace, our place and rhythm in the universe.

Because we have harbored the fear so intensely, it has already manifested itself. The thing we fear doesn’t need to happen; it already has or might as well have because we are already forcing ourselves to live through it.

Yes, many awful things have happened to you and me that we are very sorry happened. But that doesn’t mean we have to give up the beauty of the present moment to something that hasn’t happened yet. Even if it does happen sometime in the future, by harboring the fear we will have lived through it twice as long as we need to.

Recognize and acknowledge your fear. Then release it. Let go of the energy. Stop punishing yourself. While life’s seasons may not always be fair, they are trustworthy. And within each day, each moment of each season, there is a way of peace and joy.

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Do not allow fear of WHAT IF to
ruin the joy of WHAT IS.
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The spirit of a child

2005-07-03T22:37:00.000-07:00

But still I dream that somewhere there must be The spirit of a child that waits for me. BAYARD TAYLOR

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We will not be whole or healed until we have found, loved, and accepted our inner child. She waits, inside, alone, scared, and under wraps. She is waiting for us to come to her and begin to know her. She holds so many
keys to our life, the memories, the pain, the fear, the wonder, the joy, the unconditional love. We need to go to her and discover who she is.

Thus begins an ongoing relationship. There will be love, fear, hate, anger, sadness, joy, laughter. Sometimes it will be calm, sometimes agitated, quiet, or stormy,. We will make mistakes; we will face our fear and shame. Our heart will break and it will heal. Finally, we will be digging in with both hands, getting messy, laughing and crying from deep within. Finally, we will be fully alive, accepting our missing parts back into our life, and we will become whole.

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My Higher Power is arranging this internal family reunion. If I show up in good faith, all will be well.
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Yesterday...Today…Tomorrow

2005-07-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is YESTERDAY with it mistakes and cares, It’s faults and blunders, its aches and pains. YESTERDAY has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back YESTERDAY. We cannot undo a single act we preformed; we cannot erase a single word we said…
YESTERDAY is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW with it’s possible adversaries, it’s burdens, it’s large promise and poor performance. TOMORROW is also beyond our immediate control. TOMORROW’S sun will rise, either in splendor or beyond a mask of clouds but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in TOMORROW for it is as pet unborn.

This leaves only one day… TODAY. Any man can fight the battle of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities… YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW that we break down. It is not the experience of TODAY that drives men mad – it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened YESTERDAY and the dread of what TOMORROW will bring.

Let Us Therefore Live but one day at a time!

Being Fully Alive

2005-07-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

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To the being fully alive, the future is not ominous but a promise; it surrounds the present like a halo. JOHN DEWEY
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We can get really sick of all our feelings and the constant emotional changes they bring. We want consistency. All this going back and forth between pain and peace is just too much change. We wish we could feel good all the time or be in pain all the time. At one time, when we felt awful all the time, it was okay because at least it was consistent. But now that we know how it is to feel good, we hate going back into the pain.

We dont want to keep venturing inside through the maze of darkness, through the different, contradictory opinions, through the agony and the ecstasy. We want things to be simple, sweet, easy, joyous, and we want it to last forever when we are.

Change, to us, always meant things would get worse, especially where our feelings were concerned. But with faith and trust in our Higher Power, emotional change no longer needs to be threatening. We can see that though we may have a bad day, over the long run things are getting better. Feelings our varied array of feelings can even begin to give us hope as we see infinite potential within all change. We can trust that change will be for the better because our Higher Power has only our best interests in mind.

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Change is one constant in life and through the grace of my Higher Powe, I can learn to accept it.
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Expressing Feelings

2005-07-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

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You are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full. MARCEL PROUST
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Expressing feelings is not easy for us. There is a big difference between talking about our feelings in a calm intellectual manner and actually having the feelings in the moment in order to release them. We carry many feelings with us from our abuse: fear, anger, grief, shame, terror, guilt, abandonment, betrayal, exhaustion, and on. And there are many ways we have of naturally releasing these feelings: crying, shaking, sweating, laughter, screaming, yawning, trembling.

Often these releases happen spontaneously while we're having a memory, talking to a friend, waking up from a nightmare, or in a counseling session. And our reaction is often to try to stop or hurry the process. We have much shame about these feelings.. It is healing for us to
actually encourage the natural process of release.

We all know how relieved we feel after a good hard cry. Things seem a little brighter and clearer. We can let ourselves shake when the fear hits us. And, most challenging, let ourselves hit a pillow and scream when that anger gets bottled up inside. Once released, there is more room inside for feelings of our choice, like peace and happiness.

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The next time I instinctively try to stuff my feelings away I will remember that going through them is the way out for good.
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Don't Worry

2005-07-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

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Don't Worry
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Worrying doesn't help. Our worries haven't prevented one disaster along the way. At times, the only thing they've prevented is our joy. Our worries are fear. We say, "I will worry and be fearful until things have worked out; only then can I relax and enjoy." Our worries are self-punishment, a form of not forgiving ourselves, not loving ourselves, not trusting.

We may think that worrying helps ward off trouble, but that's an illusion. Sometimes worrying brings troubles upon us, because we're so caught up in our fear that we don't take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves.

The lesson is trust. When we're trusting, we let go of our fear, confident that what we want and need will come. We trust that if what comes appears to be trouble or hardship, we will get what we need to get through that, too. When we trust, we get peaceful first, before we get what we want, before we see what the future brings.

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Worry and fear are the opposite of love.
Love yourself more than you ever have.
Love yourself enough to stop worrying.
Love yourself enough to give yourself
The gift of peace.

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5 more minutes

2005-06-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

I got this in my email today and really liked it..and wanted to post it here so i wouldn't forget it.

Five More Minutes

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground.
"That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide. "He's a fine looking boy," the man said. "That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater." Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. "What do you say we go, Todd? "Todd pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes." The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content. Minutes passed and the father
stood and called again to his son. "Time to go now?" Again Todd pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes." The man smiled and said, "O.K."

"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded. The man smiled and then said, "My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get five more minutes to watch him play."

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities?